We had a big sun yesterday. Yesterday was my laundry day. I hung clothes outside for the first time this year. Even the jeans were dry in a little over an hour. All of this meant that I finished all my laundry before five pm. Everything was folded and put away since I gave up ironing three months ago. I realized that only a few of the Swiss mothers ironed. No one really cares if you do or don’t. So, I don’t.
In my humble opinion, life is too short for something so silly. If someone wants to judge me by whether or not my clothes are ironed then they are not someone that I am going to get along with anyway.
I am tired. Don’t be surprised if this post is all over the place. That is how I feel today. All over the place.
Boy Blue fell off a fairly high platform for his age at the train station yesterday. He didn’t have a bump and barely cried. His arm was pretty skinned up so I think he caught himself with it. However, that didn’t keep me from waking up all night long to check on him.
I took him to the village doctor to get a looking at. He hadn’t thrown up and was running around like a monkey so I figured he was ok. But, just in case we went. I regret going now.
We sat for over an hour in the waiting room. My kids were pretty good considering the length of time we spent in a small room with little entertainment. Boy Blue was already wound up from waiting and he was tired. Finally, we got to see the doctor.
Boy Blue is the type of child that hides behind his mother’s skirt. He hates going to the doctor and screams. I admit that he is terrible with doctors.
He will not let any doctor look at him without putting up a fight.
Our village doctor was a little aggravated and grabbed my son up not quite slamming him on the table but definitely not placing him on it either. He then held him down with a bit of force. Instead of looking like a doctor examining my son it looked more like he were wrestling him.
What bothered me wasn’t that he had to hold my son down. All doctors do.
It was how he did it. It wasn’t professional. It seemed personal. It made me uncomfortable.
He then grabbed my son’s arm after he placed him on the floor pulling up on his arm so that it was held taunt high over my son’s head. He made my son walk beside him to the door of the room. I honestly thought that the doctor was going to take my son into another room to spank him. The doctor stopped at the door yanking my son to stand next to him as he again held my son’s arm taunt above my son’s head.
The doctor looked at me and said that my son needs to understand he doesn’t always get his way.
I took that personal as well. What right does this doctor have to make assumptions about how I am parenting my son?
My son is shy. He is with me all day long. He will not be three until the end of June.
I do not let my son get his way.
Boy Blue is put in his room to lay on his bed when he is having a big fit or hits or bites one of his sisters.
My son is not the little king of our house that this doctor made him out to be.
If we let Boy Blue get his way and this is why he acts like this I would admit it here and now. But, it is not true. If reality he gets in trouble all the time. He gets put in time out and even if I hate to do it…he does get the occasional spanking on the bottom not hard enough to cause pain but hard enough to grab his attention.
I discipline my children.
It made me question whether I should go to this doctor again or perhaps this is another part of the Swiss culture that I don’t understand.
I honestly feel in my gut that this doctor while very nice and professional on the surface may not be what he seems and it is not a cultural misunderstanding.
The last time I took my son to a doctor it was at a Swiss hospital since it was the weekend and he was too sick too wait until Monday. The doctor had me hold my son down while she looked him over. She wasn’t bothered by his fighting her. A few times she had to hold him down as well but she did so professionally.
She didn’t make it about power.
It was not personal.
She professionally took control of the situation and examined my son even if he wasn’t happy about it.
Afterwards, she told me it was normal that he acted like this and he would grow out of it. She didn’t attack my parenting but instead soothed my concern away. I hadn’t asked for her opinion about his behavior but she had seen by my face that I needed reassurance that his behavior was normal and that he was not a social freak.
She was a Swiss doctor who was professional and observant without being judgemental.
I think that is the biggest issue I have with living in a small village. People are so very judgemental. This is the one observation I have from living in this village that is a fact and not a misinterpretation of mine as an expat. I understand that it is the same in every country. That is why I am happier living in larger cities. People in cities mind their own business and live their own lives.
Each day the need to get the hell out of this village nags at me. I am happy living in Switzerland but I hate living in this village. I hate it!
I have no patience for the small town mentality. I would not live in a small town in the States for the same reasons I am not happy here in this village. I wouldn’t. So, why should I do it just because we are living in another country?
I told Vilay last night that we have to find a solution to move to a larger city because I will not raise our bilingual and tricultural (American, French and now Swiss) children in this ignorant village.
I want my kids to be in an international environment filled with culture and not judgemental people who are so bored with their own lives that they have to meddle in the lives of others.
This village doctor was my breaking point.