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About driving

Yesterday, I drove a friend.
To an appointment in La Chaux-de-fonds.
It is about a half hour drive.
It was rainy.

No big deal.

On the way home.
It was still raining.
Lightly.

It was dark.
Very dark.

Insert a second of cold fear.
Where I felt my heart stop.

After that second passed.
I was OK.
The road unwound before me.

All those years of night driving on Ohio back roads.
In all kinds of weather conditions.
Gave me great driving skills.
That came back to me so naturally
I keep forgetting that I haven’t driven in six years.

It is like I have never stopped driving.

When we made it back to our village.
I was so happy and excited.
That I drove to the city.
Without Vilay even knowing.
Except for the note left on the computer.
That I was going to help a friend.

All by myself.

The topper?
On the way back home.
The kids had fallen asleep in the backseat.

It has always been important for me to be independent. After moving to France with Vilay, I found that I was very dependent on him.
Little by little, I have grown less and less dependent on him to where today I hardly feel dependent on him at all.

I can speak French.
I know as much about Switzerland as he does.
There are so many little things about living in Switzerland that are now just a normal part of my everyday life.
I don’t need Vilay to explain it all to me.
He doesn’t have to translate for me.
Well, rarely. :D

And now!
I can, finally, drive myself.

This year is about me being as independent as I was when I lived in the States.
All that is left for me to have that same level of independence here in Switzerland that I had in America is a job.
I have to work.

Driving myself has awakened my confidence in myself.

I am totally sure I will find a job this year.
I don’t know what that job will be.

What I do know is that I need to work to feel independent.
To grow.
To be happy.

So.
I will do whatever I have to do.
To make that happen.

This year is the year that everything falls back into place.
Where I get to live in Switzerland without feeling like I had to give up my independence as a woman.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • yveline January 14, 2011, 3:15 pm

    love it…BRAVO!
    vous êtes sur la bonne voie…pour être, avant tout: VOUS!

    • Pumpkin January 14, 2011, 6:13 pm

      Oui. C’est vrai que je dois penser a moi et apres c’est ma famille qui va gagne. Et moi! :D

  • Frédérique January 14, 2011, 5:02 pm

    Great if you feel more self confident again thanks to your good drinving skills :o) ! Une chose entraîne une autre chose, une confiance plus pleine s’installera et j’espère que tu trouveras davantage encore de plaisir à continuer ta vie en Suisse, à égalité de perspectives avec ton mari :o). Good luck !

  • Pumpkin January 14, 2011, 6:09 pm

    J’adore la Suisse. Ma vie est ici. Mais. Je doit vivre pour moi et ma famille. :D Merci pour tous.

  • anne January 15, 2011, 11:17 pm

    It seems like after all your troubles , it is all falling into place .. AMAZING and WELL DONE , for hanging in there :-) xox

  • Sarah January 23, 2011, 5:30 pm

    I can completely relate…it seems that real assimilation can take years. From experience, I can say that beginning to work again does a world of good! Good luck in your search!

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