The day Mom had you the doctor played an April Fool’s joke on her. He told her you were a girl knowing how much she and Dad wanted a boy. He got her good.
I loved you and thought you were the most beautiful thing in the world. You were my little brother and I was your big sister.
The only problem was you were so beautiful with your bright blue eyes and blond curls, I was jealous. Mom says that I would steal your bottle and hide behind the curtains or couch drinking it. Sorry.
I loved taking baths and sleeping with you. We only had each other.
I can remember laying in bed each morning pretending to be asleep while you carressed my hair wrapping the strands around your tiny fingers. I never told you how much I loved that. You were around two and I was around four.
I still have the little book that you gave me for my seventh birthday. I brought it with me to France. I have lost many keepsakes during all the moving in our lives but I have always held that little book close to my heart. I cheerished it when you first gave it to me. I ran my fingers over the pretty pictures of the little girls inside. I couldn’t believe you had thought so much of me. I felt your special love. You were and are the sweetest little brother. Today I still cheerish the book and I cheerish you.
I remember the day that I woke up after dreaming I could drive a car. I took the car keys and told you I could drive. You never even questioned me because I was your big sis and you believed everything I told you. I put you inside the car climbing in behind you. I shut the door behind us making you put your seatbelt on. I put the keys in the ignition and knocked the car out of park. We were going for a spin around the trailer park we lived in. I don’t remember much after that except the car rolling and a big boom. Mom told me that we had rolled into the neighbors trailer and hit it with such a force that it tipped over. The man inside had been in his bed asleep. He was none too happy and I can remember him yelling. Thankfully, no one was hurt.
You were always my accomplice in crime. We were Batman and Robin. Just so you know, I would never have dreamed of driving without you.
I can remember I wanted to know what it was like to be inside a clothes dryer. You had promised me that if I hit the door you would stop the dryer and let me out. I hit the door not once but several times and you didn’t keep your promise. I had to kick the door open from the inside while you were doubled over laughing on the floor. At the time I didn’t think it was funny. Now, I do.
Another time during a fight, you ran inside the house locking me out. I stood pounding on the door accidently ramming my fist through the glass. I had to get four stitches that day. I still think about you when I see the scar on my wrist.
We used to fold each other up in the hideaway couch and take turns climbing into the kitchen cabinets to hide from Mom. I can remember stacking the soup cans in front of you so that she wouldn’t find you. You would call her name and she would come into the kitchen searching opening the cabinet doors one by one never even seeing you. I couldn’t stop laughing. When you heard me giggling you couldn’t help but to start laughing yourself giving away your hideout.
We had watched a show on tv about Houdini. For an entire summer we would take turns tying each other up and getting free. Sometimes it would take over an hour but you never cried for me to help you. You got free all by yourself. I was proud of you. I never told you that.
Whenever we were afraid or had a nightmare we would climb into each others bed to fight off the monsters together. When you got a boo boo I would play the nurse making you sit on the toilet while I bandaged you up with toilet paper after I had cleaned your boo boo and kissed it. I can still see you sitting on the toilet with toilet paper wrapped all around your head.
You told Mom that you didn’t need to learn to read because you had your big sister to read for you. We never even dreamed of a day we would grow up and not be together.
You were home sick with chicken pocks. I wanted to stay home with you. I told you to breath your germs all over me to make me sick, too. It worked! I was never so sick in my life. I even got chicken pocks on the soles of my feet and was unable to walk. You didn’t want to do it but I talked you into it. I should have listened to you.
I got my first black eye because of you. I was in sixth grade. A boy in my class was picking a fight on my little brother. I called him a bully and told him to pick on someone his own size. Well, he took that as me. He said after he was done with me he would get you. I was in rage that someone would try to hurt you and I fought him back with every ounce of my being. There was no way he was going to touch you. He never got near you and he never bothered us again. You were proud of me and that made me happy.
I had never fought another human being besides you until that day. But, you were my brother and somehow it made it ok that I hit you or kicked you out of frustration. It wasn’t ok. I have never fought another person since that day except you, my little brother. I am sorry for all the times I hurt you in any way.
The first time a boy broke my heart you were there to comfort me. You were always very thoughtful and kind when I needed it.
Once I got sick all over the floor and you cleaned it up. Thank you.
You were an annoying little brother listening to my conversations on the phone with my friends in high school. You always were so quiet I didn’t know you were on the phone until you would start laughing at us and scream, “You are a dooche bag!” in the phone and hang up. I would let my friends go and chase you around the house telling you I was going to kill you. I thought you were such an annoying little twerp. Now, I think you were hilarious.
When we were kids, I used to chase you to the bathroom where you would lock the door keeping me out. As we grew older you grew taller and stronger and it was you that chased me, the big sister, to the bathroom where I would lock the door keeping you out.
We drove our parents crazy. I know because I have two little stinkers just like us. Sweet Bear and Petite Clown fight and love just like we did. They bring back so many memories of our childhood. I have more memories than I can list here. Just know that I haven’t forgotten all the times we shared.
Don’t forget you are my little brother even if you are bigger. We only have each other.
Happy April Fools Day to a real April Fool baby.
Happy Birthday, little brother.
I wasn’t always the best sister, but I always loved you and I still do.
Your big sister