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Every day memories

We are going to drive to get my Angel Girl on Thursday.  Correction.  Vilay is.  Alone.  I must work.

It is suppose to be unbelievably crazy where I work for most of the coming week ending with a huge climax on Sunday.  So, I understand that Thursday will be spent working.  I did ask my manager to make sure that I am off on the day that we must take her back.  Then, we will have that time together to say goodbye. 

I really miss Angel.  It is harder not having her with me now that we are back in the States.  I have, also, admitted to myself recently that she will most likely never come to live with me even if I lived in the same city as her father.  She has her home with him now.  She has her room, her friends, her school and her routine.  It isn’t easy to let it all go and start over at her age even if it is with your mother and siblings.  She has forgotten what it is like to live with us in the everyday and not visiting kind of way. 

Once we have our own apartment I am going to make her a room just for her.  When she isn’t there we can use it for guests if we were to have some.  In America, we are required to have a three bedroom apartment due to the size of our family living there which is five.  You can’t have more than two people in one bedroom.  In France, it is based soley on the size of the apartment and not the number of bedrooms. 

Sweet Bear and Petite Clown will always share a room unless we win the lottery and buy a mansion.  Boy Blue will sleep in the same room as Mama and Papa until he is two and a half to three years of age.  It is easier for Mama to get him in the night when he cries and he will not (hopefully) wake up the other children.  So, we are left with a room for Angel if she wants it.  She may just want to sleep with her sisters because she misses them.  However, I think that if she has her own room she may feel like it is less of a visit kind of situation and more of a real family arrangement.  She can make friends where ever we end up living.  She can decide that she likes it with us at our new location enough to come and live with us.  She may just may still be with me every day again. 

Even if I said that I have accepted that she will most likey never come to live with me, I will never stop hoping that she will come to live with us so that I can kiss her goodnight every single night just like I used to until she was eight years old.  I really miss her and all of those little every day memories.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Alison December 18, 2006, 2:44 am

    You never know. Angel Girl may decide she wants to live with you one day. And don’t forget how adaptable kids are.

  • M@ December 18, 2006, 2:58 am

    Maybe someday it won’t just be wishful thinking.

  • Pumpkin December 18, 2006, 8:02 pm

    I hope that as she gets older she will want to get to know what it is like to live with me and Vilay again just as she felt she needed to know her father better.

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