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Growing out of myself

I live in my head too much.

I need to be around people.

I need to grow out of myself.

My kids on the train home from looking at an apartment in Bienne last week. We decided that Bienne was too expensive unless we wanted to live in a not so nice area. We are not willing to do that since we have our children to think of. Can you believe that the apartment I visited only had a day to wash our clothes every two weeks??????

The view from the train window. When it looks like this I know I am close to home.

For my children and my husband I am going to settle into my life here in our village…once and for all. My children are so happy here. My husband would be exhausted (more than he already is) if he had to take the train two hours a day.

Vilay and I are going to stop stressing about me finding work or daycare. We are going to concentrate on what we do have and what we can do.

We do have the perfect village to live in for our family with wonderful people that know us and accept us. We can ignore the bad apples in the village and move into an apartment building that is calmer.

We do want me to work. We can find a way for me to work for myself.

I need to get out and socialize more.
I need to learn French like I have never learned it before.
I need to start making some of my dreams come true.
I need to find another way…My own way.
I need to be more patient with others and myself.
I need to reflect more before I speak or judge someone or a situation.
I need to trust myself more.
I need to love myself more.
I need to reach out to others and stop trying to figure it all out alone.

I need to grow out of myself.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • anne April 29, 2010, 11:38 am

    I cannot believe that about the washing rule…. Is that normal… very strange way to live.

    I love the thoughts about what you have to do… just like me, except you are younger and living in a foreign country…

    I need to be able to trust.. I also need to try and get rid of the ups and downs in my stomach and heart..!

    Take care xx

    • Pumpkin May 2, 2010, 10:02 am

      Anne, I think trusting is my biggest issue as a person. It is a hard one.

      I am so happy that you have your visitors this week!!! Have a great time!!!!!!!!!

  • Jennie April 29, 2010, 4:10 pm

    Pumpkin, Next week I will be 69 years old and my list is almost exactly as yours except for making my dreams come true. Most, if not all, of my dreams have come true. Now I will work on the rest of the list the rest of my life.

    • Pumpkin May 2, 2010, 10:01 am

      You know Jennie, I do think that this is a life list for me as well. :)

  • Lynn April 29, 2010, 8:12 pm

    hi sweetie,
    sometimes you are too hard on yourself. You are a wonderful person, so creative, and full of love for your children, your husband, your kitty kat, the nature and God’s world around you – you are so much to so many people – and on top of all that and more, you have us all as a rapt audience.
    it’s disheartening looking for another place to live, especially when you have to think of the kids school, your husbands work, getting around, etc. washing etc.
    wishing you all the best.
    take a deep breath, and refuse to let the one or 2 negative people who live near you affect your life. they are probably so jealous! They don’t matter and they don’t exist. Remember, you are the queen of your world!
    sending you a BIG HUG!!!! I love your writings and photography. You mean alot to me my cyber friend.

    • Pumpkin May 2, 2010, 10:00 am

      Thank you for your comment. It made me feel so much better. I know I am the hardest on myself and need to chill out! Easier said than done.

      And, I love that I have great cyber friends like you. It means so much to me.

  • sev April 29, 2010, 10:42 pm

    I think that you are amazing , beautiful , talented and a very very good comunicator . i think that you need to stop thinking sometimes and just BREATHE . i am learning to . at last . you are just fine as you are . its everyone else that isnt lol . you write as if deep down inside you are an artist . or a writer . you are creative . why not write ? as work . from home . therapy , stress relief and possibly payment . write a book . ill buy it ! hey , il illustrate it ! :-) you are an inspiration .

    • Pumpkin May 2, 2010, 9:56 am

      You are so sweet. I have been wanting to write a childrens book since I was in high school but somehow managed to never finish the ones I started. I would love for you to illustrate a book for me!!!

      • sev May 2, 2010, 7:54 pm

        you write , ill draw and paint :-) lol . anytime , just ask . Ill do it free for a percentage of the massive profitsl lol :-))) wishing here :-)) i need a job too ! sales for paintings are slooooooow :-) i just got back from switzerland , im pining for it now . it was so beautiful i was near Interlaken .

  • expatraveler May 1, 2010, 5:38 am

    I think it’s normal for what you are going through since you do not socialize with people outside the home. As well, the washing thing could be something that has to do with people wearing their clothes two days in a row. I noticed this and thought it was so odd. But then again, I’m adult and don’t dirty my clothes up like when I was a kid, so I understand that part! :)

    • Pumpkin May 2, 2010, 9:58 am

      I do re-wear my clothes and my kids do their pants…if they don’t get the pants dirty. Their shirts are always dirty after one wear!!! lol However, we don’t have enough clothes to go two weeks without washing and plus two weeks of clothes from five people equals a whole other room for storage!!! :)

  • Julie May 1, 2010, 6:53 pm

    Oh I SO agree with your wish-list and I suspect so, too, do a great many people

    Wishing you an easy journey of self-discovery and acceptance of the unique person that you are


    PS One day every two weeks! they must possess more knickers than me!

    • Pumpkin May 2, 2010, 9:59 am

      I have just enough underwear for a week and a half! After that ewwwww.

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