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Job equals money equals power

It looks like we will either have to move near a large city like Geneva for me to find a bank or office job or I will have to work in a factory.

I don’t really care if I work in a factory even if I would prefer a bank or office job.

The important thing for me is that I work.

With an extra paycheck we can buy a car and some much needed furniture.

The biggest joy for me to work will be that I can buy my oldest daughter’s plane ticket to visit us.

I hate that my being poor stops me from having the power to enforce the rights of my daughter to see her family here in Switzerland.

When I work, I will have money and I will have the power to fight.

I do not regret moving to Europe. I do regret leaving my daughter in the States instead of fighting her father to take her with me.

I am tired of being afraid to talk on my blog. I will not go into deep details other than I have not seen my daughter for over a year. It is so hard I can’t breath sometimes.

I love her and miss her so much. I need to hold her. She is growing and I am missing it all.

I HATE being poor. Hate it. I am not one to care about money but now I do. Because I want to see my daughter again. I don’t want someone else dictating when I get to see her and hold her. No one has that right even if I am poor. No one has the right to keep a child from their parent. It is wrong.

I have recently let all the anger and sadness go in regard to this matter. It was the last true power hold my ex had on me.

I know that my daughter loves me and I love her.

No one can take that away.

So, as much as it hurts not seeing her I know that she knows that I love her.

Life isn’t easy. Sometimes, it is down right unbearable.

Yet, we have to go on until the worst is over.

Soon. I will work, again.

Soon. I will buy the tickets for my daugher to fly to see me and no one will be able to keep my baby from me again.

Soon. I will not be helpless. I will be able to stand. I will stand and I will never trust another person when it comes to my relationship with my daughter again. I have learned my lesson.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • sissi April 11, 2008, 2:43 pm

    I feel sad for you, it must be so hard not to see her, I understand your anger and sadness. My daughter is 12 just like yours!
    I hope you can find a job soon. Does it mean you are going to leave Jura? You seemed to like it.
    I have read that being a factory worker in Switzerland is not like being one in France, first they make more money, they are happy about their job and the environment is different, much better.
    edreams.com often have cheap flight.

  • Jessica April 11, 2008, 3:19 pm

    Will she come this summer?

  • Erin April 11, 2008, 3:52 pm

    Have you considered filing US federal taxes this year? I don’t know how the government bonus check will work (or even if it will) for us expats but it’s worth looking into…I think my Mom told me it’s $600.- It might not cover a summer plane ticket but it would be a start.

  • Pumpkin April 11, 2008, 5:06 pm

    Sissi,
    We aren’t sure where we will end up except that we have decided to stay in Switzerland. We don’t want to pull the kids out of the Swiss school system which I am very very happy with. Our life is here now.

    Really it all depends on what job I find and where it is but we will stay in the Jura or near enough by that my husband can get to his job easily. We have been thinking a lot about Bienne and I really love Neuchâtel.

    Thank you for the link to the edreams. I will most likely end up in a watch factory like Vilay which isn’t bad at all since it is a skill in high demand and I can go to school to learn more later if I like it.

    Jessica,
    I was told she will but only for three or four weeks. Not the entire summer. But I don’t trust anything that is said because she was suppose to come last summer and this past Christmas. She never did.

    If I get a job before summer I will buy the tickets and she will come for the whole summer. I am prepared to fly to the States if I have to fight.

    Erin,
    My mother meantioned that to me as well. But, I don’t feel comfortable taking the money when we live here in Switzerland. I do understand that if I ever started earning major money I would have to pay taxes in the States as well as in Switzerland but I don’t think that is right either.

    I never filed my taxes from when I was working last in the States since it was under the amount that I am legally required to even if I lived in the States. It was a joke it was low. :) My mother thought I should for the money I would have gotten for the kids but I just felt like I was done with it all after what we had been through with immigration. It was a nightmare. We spent enough on immigration to buy a ticket for my daughter and it was all for nothing. But, that is all in the past and I am over it. :)

  • Pumpkin April 11, 2008, 5:10 pm

    I did want to add that this is the reason I have started putting up ads on my blog.

    I don’t want anyone to think I am money hungry or full of myself. I am not.

    I don’t earn a lot for the ads but it does help.

  • Mad William April 12, 2008, 12:04 am

    That stinks. Hang in there.
    Best wishes,

  • Cathy Y. April 12, 2008, 2:20 am

    Pumpkin, the amount for the economic stimulus payment is $600 for a couple and $300 for each additional child, so it looks as if you would be getting $1500, but you have to file a tax return.

    I know you don’t feel comfortable in taking the money, but think about it this way: They are giving this money to EVERYONE to stimulate the economy. It is yours by right, if you qualify. Because the intent is to stimulate the economy, they WANT as many people as are eligible to take it and use it. If you paid a U.S. airline to fly your daughter, you’d be using the $ for what it was intended for – to stimulate the U.S. economy. I think some U.S. airlines partner with European airlines, but you’d still be paying the U.S. airlines. For example, the last I heard Delta partners with Air France. You could fly her to Paris on Delta, basically, and you’d be doing exactly what the U.S. government wants done with the money. All you have to do is file a 2007 tax return to receive it. You may have had to have made $3000 to receive it, though. I can’t remember if you moved back to France in 2006 or 2007 to have even earned anything in 2007. You can read about the details of the stimulus payment here, to see if you can get it. I wouldn’t hesitate, if it were me: http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=177937,00.html

  • patdem April 12, 2008, 5:17 pm

    If it can help to buy your daughter a ticket, i ll click on the ads each time i ll visit your blog.

  • Pumpkin April 12, 2008, 6:37 pm

    Cathy, We left in January of 2007. But, I didn’t claim taxes for 2006 which I would have been able to but was not legally required to. After thinking of it from your view point I should have filed but it is too late now. :(

    Patdem, Some ads pay for page impressions and others for clicks but I don’t want my readers to click on anything that they wouldn’t have anyway. :) But, I do appreciate and am touched by your offer.

    Vilay and I are shooting for me to start working in the next month or two which will allow me to start saving to pay her way if not starting this summer it will be by Christmas definately. So, I have something to look forward to and it makes me feel strong and not like a victim any longer.

  • expatraveler April 13, 2008, 7:20 am

    I think there are a lot more teaching jobs in Bienne/Neuchatel, and of course the watch industry. Hang in there with the job. I totally understand your anger….

  • expatraveler April 13, 2008, 7:21 am

    Sorry didn’t want to confuse you, but teaching english or anything more with french and english together… possibly you could do a bit of a part time job for a while to get some pay?

  • Pumpkin April 13, 2008, 10:52 am

    I have looked into teaching English since I have an elementary teaching certification from Ohio. The problem is I am not TESL certified which seems to be a requirement in Switzerland.

    I could have taught English on the side from my home but Vilay was too tired when he came home to watch the kids if I taught English in the evenings. So, I gave up that idea.

  • Jessica April 13, 2008, 2:57 pm

    Actually, I think you can file your taxes retroactively.

  • Cathy Y. April 14, 2008, 12:42 am

    I think Jessica is right – that you can file a return late. I know you can amend a return after the fact (even in another year) so you can probably file one late, too. Just keep in mind, that this stimulus payment (which is separate from any refund you might have coming) is only for 2007, and you’d have to qualify. You’d have to look at that link I sent you to be able to determine that.

  • might i add ... ? April 14, 2008, 5:37 am

    I’m so sorry to hear that things are hard. It’s good that you have decided to bring your daughter to visit you. I will be happy to make some clicking action on your site, too! (I don’t really know how this stuff works….)

  • Pumpkin April 14, 2008, 9:44 am

    I did some quick searching on Google about filing taxes a year late and it looks like I would have had to have filed an extention. But, I will look into it more.

    Thanks, for all your suggestions. :)

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