It looks like we will either have to move near a large city like Geneva for me to find a bank or office job or I will have to work in a factory.
I don’t really care if I work in a factory even if I would prefer a bank or office job.
The important thing for me is that I work.
With an extra paycheck we can buy a car and some much needed furniture.
The biggest joy for me to work will be that I can buy my oldest daughter’s plane ticket to visit us.
I hate that my being poor stops me from having the power to enforce the rights of my daughter to see her family here in Switzerland.
When I work, I will have money and I will have the power to fight.
I do not regret moving to Europe. I do regret leaving my daughter in the States instead of fighting her father to take her with me.
I am tired of being afraid to talk on my blog. I will not go into deep details other than I have not seen my daughter for over a year. It is so hard I can’t breath sometimes.
I love her and miss her so much. I need to hold her. She is growing and I am missing it all.
I HATE being poor. Hate it. I am not one to care about money but now I do. Because I want to see my daughter again. I don’t want someone else dictating when I get to see her and hold her. No one has that right even if I am poor. No one has the right to keep a child from their parent. It is wrong.
I have recently let all the anger and sadness go in regard to this matter. It was the last true power hold my ex had on me.
I know that my daughter loves me and I love her.
No one can take that away.
So, as much as it hurts not seeing her I know that she knows that I love her.
Life isn’t easy. Sometimes, it is down right unbearable.
Yet, we have to go on until the worst is over.
Soon. I will work, again.
Soon. I will buy the tickets for my daugher to fly to see me and no one will be able to keep my baby from me again.
Soon. I will not be helpless. I will be able to stand. I will stand and I will never trust another person when it comes to my relationship with my daughter again. I have learned my lesson.