Yesterday, as I was sitting in the living room, I gazed out my favorite window in my apartment. It is hard to have a favorite. We are lucky to have a beautiful view from each window in this apartment.
All of a sudden, something turned on in my head. I could almost feel my dear friend, Spring, pushing back the shutters in my mind to let the sun in. Memories of green trees and a soft warm breeze, pressed into very my very being. I felt happier.
Something had changed in the light. I am sure of it. It looks different to me. This morning as my husband opened the blinds the sunlight threw itself at me, again. I had to put my hand over my eyes until they adjusted to the light. Strange, I haven’t had to do that in a while.
I will admit that the past few months I have been in my winter slump like every other winter. I think I have a case of winter blues. Winter blues is a mild case of SAD syndrome (Seasonal Adjustment Disorder, Seasonal Affected Disorder). I have trouble waking up. I just don’t want to get up. That is not like me at all. I, normally, hate laying around in bed when there are so many things waiting for me to be done.
When I wake up in the morning I, typically, start cracking right away on making breakfast and then I get to cleaning. I would finish all this in about an hour to an hour and a half. Then, I would take the kids to the park and sit watching them chase the pigeons or each other from one piece of equipement to the next. Or, they would sit at my feet playing in the dirt with the toys we had brought with us. When we got home a few hours later, we would eat and the girls would take a nap. We would go to the park twice almost every day, once in the morning before lunch and again before dinner.
Now, I force myself out of bed into the kitchen ignoring the dishes that need done and make breakfast. After breakfast the girls play in thier room a while or in the living room with me while I type away at the computer. If Sweet Bear is in school, I pick her up from school around 11:30am and we go home and eat straight away. I sometimes take them to the park if it is not too cold or if Boy Blue is up to it. Unfortunately, the time we spend at the park in minimal. The day goes so fast and I feel like we never really do anything.
Today, is different. It is warm and something inside me is stirring like a big ol’ bear after a long winters nap. My very being is streatching and yawning. I have this need to clean (husband will be happy). Clean everything from top to bottom and I want to take the kids to the park to run or laugh while I push them on the merry-go-round maybe joining them on it. I feel like the weight of the world is being lifted and the sun is reclaiming her place. I am happy to live in an apartment with huge windows. I want to feel the sunlight warm on my face and smell the goodness of life.
I want to let the sunshine it!