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Let the sunshine in


Yesterday, as I was sitting in the living room, I gazed out my favorite window in my apartment. It is hard to have a favorite. We are lucky to have a beautiful view from each window in this apartment.

All of a sudden, something turned on in my head. I could almost feel my dear friend, Spring, pushing back the shutters in my mind to let the sun in. Memories of green trees and a soft warm breeze, pressed into very my very being. I felt happier.

Something had changed in the light. I am sure of it. It looks different to me. This morning as my husband opened the blinds the sunlight threw itself at me, again. I had to put my hand over my eyes until they adjusted to the light. Strange, I haven’t had to do that in a while.

I will admit that the past few months I have been in my winter slump like every other winter. I think I have a case of winter blues. Winter blues is a mild case of SAD syndrome (Seasonal Adjustment Disorder, Seasonal Affected Disorder). I have trouble waking up. I just don’t want to get up. That is not like me at all. I, normally, hate laying around in bed when there are so many things waiting for me to be done.

When I wake up in the morning I, typically, start cracking right away on making breakfast and then I get to cleaning. I would finish all this in about an hour to an hour and a half. Then, I would take the kids to the park and sit watching them chase the pigeons or each other from one piece of equipement to the next. Or, they would sit at my feet playing in the dirt with the toys we had brought with us. When we got home a few hours later, we would eat and the girls would take a nap. We would go to the park twice almost every day, once in the morning before lunch and again before dinner.

Now, I force myself out of bed into the kitchen ignoring the dishes that need done and make breakfast. After breakfast the girls play in thier room a while or in the living room with me while I type away at the computer. If Sweet Bear is in school, I pick her up from school around 11:30am and we go home and eat straight away. I sometimes take them to the park if it is not too cold or if Boy Blue is up to it. Unfortunately, the time we spend at the park in minimal. The day goes so fast and I feel like we never really do anything.

Flowers and sky

Today, is different. It is warm and something inside me is stirring like a big ol’ bear after a long winters nap. My very being is streatching and yawning. I have this need to clean (husband will be happy). Clean everything from top to bottom and I want to take the kids to the park to run or laugh while I push them on the merry-go-round maybe joining them on it. I feel like the weight of the world is being lifted and the sun is reclaiming her place. I am happy to live in an apartment with huge windows. I want to feel the sunlight warm on my face and smell the goodness of life.

I want to let the sunshine it!

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Pauline February 17, 2006, 3:58 pm

    I just love the view from this window.

  • Pauline February 17, 2006, 4:20 pm

    By the way are you going to tell us your real name one day ? Or you could have a “guess the name competition”

    Let me see, I think you look like a Suzanne or maybe Elaine or Kim, Helen, Karen, Tinkbell or is it Gertrude !! :)

  • buzzgirl February 17, 2006, 6:47 pm

    The view from that window is amazing. The photo is like a postcard. I love the hazy sunshine.

  • Pumpkin Pie February 17, 2006, 7:03 pm

    I don’t use my real name to protect my family and friends and my position in any future job that I may have. Pretty much the same reasons that Petite Angaise keeps her identity secret.

    As I have said before my nickname or alias, Pumpkin Pie, represents all that I miss and left behind in America. So, actually, it fits here better than my real name.

    But, I will admit I like the ones you named above better than the real thing. :)

  • M@ February 17, 2006, 9:15 pm

    It doesn’t appear that the new blog is pinging blogrolling when you put a new post up. :( How am I supposed to know that you have updated? ;)

  • Julie February 17, 2006, 11:01 pm

    Awww, you’re name can’t be that bad.

  • Pumpkin Pie February 18, 2006, 12:54 am

    I was wondering where you had went.
    I will check on it! :)

  • Wendy February 18, 2006, 1:00 am

    Yup – spring is on its way….its been WARM (10 degrees) for 3 days…although lots of rain. But WARM. I am relieved. I have struggled this winter and been really depressed. I need sunshine in my life. Lots of it.

  • Pumpkin Pie February 18, 2006, 8:56 am

    I am ready for Spring. I hate being cold and I love flowers. One thing about Alsace is that there are flowers EVERYWHERE being in the spring and lasting into the fall. Even in the winter I see some flowers.

    Yesterday was so warm I just wore a warm sweater and jacket outside. :)

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