You were my angel from the first day I held you in my arms. You were only five pounds and eleven ounces when you were born. You looked like a perfect doll. So, tiny and fragile.
You grew quickly and at six months old you would cry if I held you. You wanted to be free to explore. I cried because I wanted you to stay in my arms. You were always climbing and running and laughing. The sun always seemed to shine on you and you shared this sunshine with me. You were my happiness and you still are.
When you come this Christmas I will hold my baby again. It has been far to long and I miss you so much that if I think about it for even a second the missing you swells in my throat. A mother should never be away from her child.
However, you have two families and you can not be with both families at the same time. I love you and am sorry that your father and I could not stay together for you. I am sorry you grew up without ever remembering your parents living together. Your father left when you were three months old and we only had each other. You had all my love wrapped around you. You know I love you. So, I understand that you want to know your father better and to have his love. I understand more than you think because my parents were divorced as well. I just cannot help that I am your mother and I am human and I still do not want to let you out of my arms. I want to still hold that six month old baby and hide the world. I want to keep you all to myself. I want to fall back into time when your smile and laugh was with me every single day. So, if I am sad sometimes on the phone it is because I need you and I love you. It is because you are the world to me. My big girl, my angel that I am still in love with. Nothing will ever take my love from you. No distance, no time and not even your father who tries to keep you from me more and more. Nothing and no one can separate us. I am your mother and you are my daughter for life. I will always, always be there for you. I love my Angel Girl.
I pray that you are happy and safe when I am not with you. I pray that you feel my love and know that I am with you. I pray that soon you will decide to live with me again. I pray.