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Question = Answer

Sissi asked me:

My question is:how did you meet your husband ?
Would you like to go back to the US ? ( to live there not to vacation)

How did you meet your husband?

Drumroll…

I met my husband online.

At the time it was very embarrassing to tell anyone. I even made fun of others for meeting online. Then, it happened to me.

Ha. Ha. Life is funny that way.

Ten years later, it is as common as meeting someone at a bar, party, grocery store or church. Yes, people do go to the grocery to get picked up. I saw it on tv so it must be true. :)

The thing is I was not looking for a man.

In fact, I was done with men.

I had decided that I would happily live my life out as an old maid rather than let a man dangle my heart on a string.

One day, I innocently let my brother show me around the Internet.

He wanted to enlighten me about the ins and outs of a chat room. I was in horror at the prospect of meeting someone from Ohio. If you have been through Ohio you know why.

I told my brother to see about visiting a chat room with people far away from the black hole called Ohio.

We searched around and found one in France.

Can’t get much farther from Ohio than that!

Since I was a little girl, I loved all things French. I told my brother to click on the French room so we could laugh at my inability to read French after four years of French classes. Actually, I could still read pretty well. Writing in French was a whole other matter.

My husband was about the twentieth Frenchman to instant message me from the chat room. All the others were looking for cyber love and I immediately blocked them. Remember, I wanted nothing to do with men and all their silly games.

My husband was the only man that instant messaged me to talk about real things. He made me pause just long enough to not click the block button.

Honestly, I thought he was this nice but lonely French guy in his fifties. He was interesting. He was safe since he was so much older. I learned later that this older French man that I was talking to online was in fact a younger man. A younger Frenchman. He was one year younger than myself.

It really changed my perception of him.

Immediately, I began to see him as an intelligent. sexy. young. French. Man.

Oh la, la!

I was curious to know more about him and his life on the other side of the world.

He asked me all kinds of questions about my life in America. It turns out he has always admired America just as I had France. So, we spent weeks exchanging information about our lives in our own countries, language and culture.

We became friends but it grew into something deeper over time.

Several months later, he flew to America to visit me. He stopped me in the middle of a Cincinnati street and asked me to marry him. I said yes.

I had fallen in love with him without ever seeing him. It was strange in that it didn’t feel strange. It felt right.

Three years after meeting my husband by chance in that AOL chat room, he came to the States to marry me.

On May 14th of this year, we will have been married seven years and have known each other close to ten.

It is true that we find love when and where we least expect it.

Would you want to live in the US again?

No.

We actually moved back to the States for six months after living in France for a little over two years.

Cultural adjustment – First post after arriving back in the USA

It ended up being a huge nightmare with immigration.

Second opinion – a post about the issue with sponsoring my husband.

It turned out that whoever sponsored my husband would be totally financially responsible for him. I didn’t make enough money to sponsor him since we are a family of five. It was too much to ask of my mother or father since they are near to retirement.

Besides, it is wrong.

I am American. Our four children are American. My husband even if he is French should be able to live in and work in America with his American family.

I almost renounced my American citizenship over it all. It hurt me deeply that my husband could not legally stay in my own country with his family. He could have stayed as an illegal. But, where would that have gotten us?

I still do not believe what happened was right but have come to realize there is nothing I can do about it.

I am happy that I didn’t renounce my American citizenship.

I am proud that I am American.

However, I am not proud of American politics regarding family immigration and many other issues.

We ended up moving back to France. We had no other choice since my husband could not legally stay with us in America. Some months later, my husband found a job in Switzerland. He was asked to start right away and we had little time to prepare ourselves mentally or physically for the move.

Switzerland – here we come is the post where I announced our move.

It turned out to be one more beautiful adventure in our lives together.

It is no secret that my husband and I have been through financially desperate times together. On top of that we are both stubborn and opinionated. We don’t always see eye to eye and there have been moments when both of us have wanted to walk away. But, after the tempers cool we still have all that love binding us closer.

We are committed to our love, our marriage and our family.

I knew it wouldn’t be easy when I married my husband because he is French and I am American. I understood that we would have challenges that other marriages did not have. Before we got married, we promised each other to stick it out through whatever may come.

It was a real promise and we committed to it.

What I have learned is that marriage is all about the commitment.

Love is important. But, without a strong commitment love is not enough.

My husband is my best friend and has changed my life.

Over the years we have grown stronger…together.

Ours is a real life love story about overcoming obstacles and sticking it out.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Tea and Bon Bons April 30, 2008, 3:22 pm

    It’s scary how closely your relationship parallels mine with my husband! The timing is very nearly the same, even — our 7th anniversary is May 12! I met him online before it was socially acceptable, the difference being we were both in Colorado. He is a foreigner, though. There was a time when I would have gone to live overseas in a heartbeat.

    Wow!

  • Pumpkin April 30, 2008, 7:06 pm

    Tea and Bon Bons,

    You know…we almost got married on the 11th or 12th but he came on the 11th so we decided to wait until the 14th which I think was a Monday. :)

    I know there are more people out there that met online but they make up another story because they are afraid of what others may think.

    I did that for the first year and then I decided it was silly because we loved each other and what was wrong with that. It didn’t matter how we met. All that mattered was how we would be together.

    I think it is interesting that you have a similar story.
    We never do know where love will find us. :)

  • sissi April 30, 2008, 8:21 pm

    WOW
    Thank you for answering and sharing.
    It is an amazing story , totally uncommon, which I love.

    I hear you about the immigration nightmare:(

    I love what you wrote about your marriage, overcoming obstacles, commitment,it reminds me of my husband and I!

    I hope your journey in Switzerland will continue to be a peaceful and happy one and that soon you will get on your feet financially.

    Bye!

  • Pumpkin May 1, 2008, 1:12 pm

    Sissi,
    I wish you and your family the best this weekend as you start your own adventure in Switzerland! :)
    I am so excited for you all.

  • expatraveler May 4, 2008, 12:08 am

    I think this is a great story.. We definitely have had these obstacles too and I guess moving to Europe is easier than the US too for us..

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