I miss France. Period.
If it weren’t for Angel we would go back even if we couldn’t buy a house or live beyond paycheck to paycheck. Why? I fell in love with France. I love France. Yes, I am American. Yes, I love America. Yet, the lifestyle in America is empty. There seems to be not much beyond all the materalism. I understand that I am speaking from a stand point of living in Ohio. Ohio is pretty boring when it comes to states. I admit it. I hope and I have the feeling that life in Florida will be much more exciting and meaningful. However, it is still not France.
It is hard now. Both Vilay and I miss France. If I didn’t have the posibility to be a teacher with all holidays and summers off I would never have agreed to come back to the States. It is too hard to make a life here with four children if you are not in a job like teaching. It is certain that I could not go back into bank management with four children. It is too crazy. We don’t have grandparents that can or would watch our children like other parents do. We would have to put all of them at daycare until they were able to go to Kindergarten which is at the age of five. On top of that most Kindergartens are only for half days. So, they would still need to go to daycare for the remainder of the day. I know neither country is perfect. I know that others love life in America. I know that it will all work out for us even if we don’t go back to France.
My secret is that if I could do it all over again. I would never have left France. Never. Even with the inequalities for an American woman with four children. Such as a potential employer having the legal right to ask me how many children I have and their ages…which I still think is discrimination even if these companies have to pay money for each of my children. That is the price of doing business and not a green light for discrimination.
I would give anything to walk in the streets of a small village again, to have a “real” bread, to hear the church bells ringing, to see people sitting at their windows watching the world go by, to walk my children to school through streets lined with history even with all the dog doo, to take our regular Sunday walks to and through Strasbourg which lasted for at least six hours, to take the kids to one of the little parks near our apartment, to hear French all around me every single day and most of all to have the feeling that I am alive and not just moving through each day. Oh…and I would give anything for a small but effective French cafe!