During the past couple years when I look in the mirror I am pretty happy with what I see. Even though we have moved back to the States I have not gained any of the weight back that I had lost in France (about 34 pounds). Well, that is not exactly true. I did gain back what I had lost during the two weeks before we moved back to America. I had dropped a whole size in that two weeks due to stress. I am sorry to say that I went from a 7/8 back to a 9/10. But, I really am not worried about it too much.
I think I look good. More importantly, I feel good. I have learned to love myself no matter how much I weigh. I am happy with myself until I look closer into the mirror. It’s when I smile at my reflection that the wrinkles take over!
Lately, I have been seeing my wrinkles more than I did before. I think it has to do with the fact that I am closer to 40 than 30. I will turn 37 this July. I am looking for them. I have replaced my worry over weight with my worry over wrinkles.
It was like I felt the wrinkles weighting down my face. That was until today when a “girl” about 22 told me I didn’t look old enough to have four children. We were talking during lunch at work in the breakroom. I laughed and told her she was my new best friend. I explained that my oldest daughter was eleven and that I had her when I was 25. So, that makes me 36. She told me that I didn’t look at all like I was 36. She even told me that I looked “damn good” for having had four children!
I stopped by the restroom before I clocked back in after lunch. I looked in the mirror and saw a young woman with her life ahead of her. I saw an attractive woman with green eyes and long, dark hair smile back at me. I saw past the laugh lines that were framing her eyes.
I only saw the sparkle that was me.