When I first started learning Spanish the older kids who already knew it would tell me, “Say this,” or “Say that,” and of course it was some kind of swearing or whatever. It took me a while to see what they were doing…after a few people looked at me like, “Julie!”

“Ma chatte” I started out. The Frenchman looked confused so I began describing her, using the only words I knew, hoping he’d realize I needed cat supplies: “ma chatte” is soft, is white, likes to be pet.

When he finally realized I was describing my cat and not my, well, lady parts, he did me a big favor. He found a picture of a cat on some food and said “LE chat” and made me repeat it. LE chat. LE chat. Then he raised his hand as if to excuse himself and brought his finger to my fly: “LA chatte” and made me repeat it.

THAT was a mistake I never made again.

When I cuss in French it doesn’t seem so harsh. I think it is because it isn’t my mother tongue. I think the best thing is to not use them at all. Well, at least until my temper takes over and I am not reasonable…then it is the F word every other word. :)