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Strength

I will not be blogging this weekend.

My oldest daughter will not be flying out to Switzerland this Sunday because her father told me he lost her passport. He said he will do everything he can to get a new one as quickly as possible and perhaps she will still be able to come this summer but later.

I am speechless and numb which is good because I don’t think I could deal with the pain of it all right now.

“What does not kill me makes me stronger.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

J’espère que c’est vrai.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • sissi July 4, 2008, 9:47 pm

    oh no! my poor Pumpkin, I am so sad for you.
    This comes as a shock!
    Didn’t he figure out the passport was missing when he booked the ticket?

    I wish I could ease your pain.
    You’re welcome to come over this week-end if you want.

  • Global Librarian July 4, 2008, 10:30 pm

    I am so, so sorry.

    You are a stronger woman than I. I would have likely already booked a ticket to the U expressly to throttle my ex-husband had something like this happened to me.

    Fortunately, it is now possible to get a replacement passport in a day or so.

  • Penny July 4, 2008, 10:39 pm

    Oh no. I am so sorry to hear this. I hope the situation can be resolved quickly (I’m trying to be polite here!). Hugs

  • Julie July 4, 2008, 11:31 pm

    I’m so sorry.

  • Evolving July 4, 2008, 11:57 pm

    What the HELL! Oh honey, I’m so sorry! I don’t know what I can say that can possibly make it better, but know all your blog community is behind you. Your daughter will be with you soon!

  • Mom July 5, 2008, 1:57 am

    I love you more than ever. I’m crying because i know your heart is broken. I wish I could hug you close and make everything better like when you were little . I pray that God will let them find the passport. I called Angel and they are still looking for it. Love you, Mom.

  • might i add ... ? July 5, 2008, 2:42 am

    I cannot believe this! I feel so bad for you. I wish there were something I could do to help. Tears are welling up in my eyes right now….

    This may not be the kindest of thoughts, but is it possible to sue him? It sounds to me like he is trying to undermine your time with your daughter. Especially if you have court-ordered visitation rights, it seems to me that suing him might get his organizational skills back on track. “Lose the passport”? It must be in the house (or safe deposit box) somewhere… a passport isn’t something you just carry around with you and accidentally “lose.”

    Have you been able to talk with her yet? I can’t begin to imagine her disappointment either.

    I’m keeping you in my thoughts… and sending positive thoughts your way. Maybe this passport will show up over the weekend. If I were him, I would be tearing my house apart looking for that passport.

  • unbalanced reaction July 5, 2008, 4:01 am

    Ugh, that so completely sucks. I hope it gets found soon

  • LolaB July 5, 2008, 11:08 am

    Oh, sweetie, I am so so sorry. My god. I just sent you an email and then checked in over here. If there’s anything I can do…and yes, if you’d like to meet up this weekend, let me know. (I’ll email you my cell number).
    Stay strong, and if he’s resourceful at all he *can* get a replacement passport quickly.

  • Anna July 5, 2008, 1:29 pm

    I can’t believe it!!!
    I am soooo sorry for you!
    You are so strong, please don’t let it get you down!!
    Feel hugged.

  • bbm July 5, 2008, 3:10 pm

    So sorry about this setback. Take care of yourself.

  • Lisa July 5, 2008, 5:09 pm

    Pumpkin, here is a service for immediate fast passport replacement – http://www.rushmypassport.com/ I am so very sorry you are being put through this.

    Gah! Your ex reminds me a lot of my hubby’s ex (effing cow). I was ever so happy when my step-daughter turned 18 and we didn’t have to deal with that crap anymore.

  • patdem July 5, 2008, 7:09 pm

    Juste de passage

    Vraiment désolé pour toi, j’espère de tout coeur que cela va s’arranger, merci pour le petit message sur mon blog.

    Be strong, i know you will

  • Pumpkin July 5, 2008, 10:37 pm

    It won’t be possible to get the replacement passport in time for her to come this summer. Her father has told her she can come this Christmas which will make it two years since she has seen us.

    She must get a new birth certificate in order to get a replacement passport and I must get my written authorization for the passport application notarized since my daughter is under 16. I think I will have to do this in Bern and will call Monday for an appointment so that it is taken care of as soon as possible for Christmas….well, unless something else happens that keeps her from coming since this is the third time.

    I can’t say more for obvious reasons. This blog is most likely being read by them since I know they were reading it before.

    Thank you all for your support. It really does mean a lot to me during this time. I am holding it together because I don’t really have the choice but to. My five year old daughter sat in my lap and cryed for two hours last night. I was so angry.

    Right now, I am most concerned for my oldest daughters emotional well being and ask you all to send her your positive thoughts and prayers. She is the one that is being hurt the most by all of this. It has got to stop.

  • Cathy Y. July 6, 2008, 12:20 am

    I can’t really say what I want to in this public blog, either. To put it politely, if he cared for anyone other than himself, he would have taken care not to lose her passport. How selfish. Stay strong, Pumpkin!

  • sissi July 6, 2008, 12:30 am

    I checked your blog 5000 times today, I was hoping for better news.
    I sent you an email.
    I know there is not much to do to ease your pain. I can’t even imagine what your daughter must be feeling.
    I am thinking of you both and sending you my prayers.

  • Jessica July 6, 2008, 2:55 am

    What if you go to the States and get it taken care of there, and then bring her back with you? You could probably have it done in 2 weeks…

    You have a custody agreement – what if you tried to fight this?

  • Cathy Y. July 6, 2008, 3:18 am

    Not to try to speak for Pumpkin, but to answer your question, Jessica (since it’s the middle of the night where Pumpkin is right now)….I think the situation is that she would like to be able to do all those things but just can’t, for lack of finances to do them (trips abroad, taking him to court, etc.) They are a 1-income family with three very young children (making it difficult for her to work), and her husband just found work last year after being unemployed and/or underemployed for a very long time. I wish I had a lot of money and could help them out.

  • Alison July 6, 2008, 3:55 am

    Oh, honey, I’m aching for you right now. You know I know what this kind of thing is like. I’m so sorry, and I will keep Angel in my thoughts. Major hugs.

  • Jessica July 6, 2008, 3:58 pm

    I do understand that Cathy – though I don’t really know the specifics of Pumpkins financial situation. I feel really terrible for the whole situation. I just thought now would be a totally justifiable time to burn up the savings/ seek a loan. Would a loan interest you? I always look for solutions.

  • Katie July 6, 2008, 4:52 pm

    I am very, very sorry Pumpkin… This sucks big time. I admire your strenght right now. If there is anything you can do to fix this now- do it, if not, try to see this ordeal as “everything happens for a reason”. Don’t worry, karma will get your ex eventually.
    Try to take care of yourself and stay strong. We are sending positive thoughts and prayers to you, your beautiful family and your daughter in the US.
    Take care.

  • Jessica July 6, 2008, 10:34 pm

    My thoughts are with you… I can’t even imagine how hard this must be.

    I can’t believe people can be so careless sometimes. I am really sorry and will hope that the passport is found and all is fixed quickly.

  • might i add ... ? July 7, 2008, 3:59 am

    I’ve already posted about this, but I hope your ex is reading this, Pumpkin. Because I want to tell him that there is NO excuse for manipulating your children. Losing his child’s passport so that she cannot come see her mother is inexcusable.

    Perhaps he feels that he somehow has the right to do it, maybe he’s upset that you have moved on to a new relationship, that you have other children, that you are happy without him. I don’t know about your history, and I don’t need to. Because, there is no excuse to use a child as a pawn to retaliate against his/her parent.

    I have known people who do this when they get divorced. They can’t deal with their own pain, they can’t seem to be able to act as an adult. And the one who ultimately suffers the most is the child. A parent who loves his child as a parent should would not act in this way.

  • Pumpkin July 7, 2008, 10:41 am

    Thank you again everyone. I am so tired right now because I haven’t slept for two nights and I still have to do the laundry today.

    She would have been with me right now driving back home (her home that she hasn’t seen yet) and it is so hard. So hard. I miss her.

    Our inlaws are coming to get us to go to Prague in the Czech Republic in 10 days. We will stay with my husband’s cousin there. My oldest daughter has always wanted to see Prague and was so excited about this trip. Now, I will visit Prague thinking about how much she is missing and I know while we are there she will be sad that she isn’t. We thought about not going but it would disappoint not only our other children but my husband’s family there. His grandmother is happy to see my husband and the children.

    Everyone will be disappointed that Angel isn’t there because my husband’s family treat her and love her the same as my other three children. So once again our family isn’t all together meeting with cousins, grandparents, their great-grandmother and aunts and uncles. My husband has a HUGE family in the Czech Republic and my daughter has already met some of them. I am sad she won’t get to meet the rest of her family there. She would have remembered that trip for the rest of her life. Now, she will remember it but in another way.

    Money is the root of all evil and I understand this all too well now.

  • Cathy Y. July 8, 2008, 1:53 am

    The actual quote is, “For the love of money is the root of all evil…” It’s from the Bible. Basically, it’s what you do with it that shows where your heart is. There are people with gobs of money who do good things with it to help others (think Bill & Melinda Gates), and those with more modest amounts who are very stingy and selfish with what they’ve got. It’s what you do with it that shows were your heart is. So, as I said above, how selfish. How incredibly selfish.

    I’m so sorry that you and your family, including your oldest daughter, are going through this, Pumpkin, and that she will not get to go to Prague with you all.

  • Pumpkin July 8, 2008, 3:54 pm

    Cathy Y,

    Thank you for your support and for answering so well for me when I wasn’t able to. Your answer was perfect.

    It is nice to know the entire quote which is actually more logical.

  • Caffienated Cowgirl July 10, 2008, 5:42 pm

    Oh, I am so, so sorry. I guess the best thing to do now is think about how great Christmas will be.

  • expatraveler July 11, 2008, 10:34 pm

    My support is right there with you. P and I are going through a very rough patch right now and it’s been hard also. I do hope things work out for the better, but this is absolutely devastating to the entire family!!! Here’s a hug from me.

    The passport fiasco just like this, happened to us and we suspected it was sabotage instead… I certainly hope it wasn’t!

  • Pumpkin July 12, 2008, 10:52 am

    Expatraveler,
    Thank you and as I said on your blog you have the support of Vilay and I. You are such a sweetheart to everyone and are the last person that should have to be going through a hard time.

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