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Tickle finger

I have been thinking about your baby curls for the last few days. I can remember you taking your little fingers twirling your hair around and around them all the way up to your scalp. Once you got one of your fingers tightly stuck surrounded by hair against your head. I had to laugh as did you at the humour of the situation.

You couldn’t go to sleep unless you could touch my hair. My hair was also the playing ground for you magic twirling fingers. I loved the feeling of your fingers twirling my hair and how sweet your little baby hands looked with dimples on each knuckle.

On a trip back from visiting family in Kentucky you grew restless and began to cry. You wanted out of the car and to be home in your bed. My mother was driving with us in the backseat. I thought up a game called tickle finger. I would hold my hand up high above your head and twirl one of my fingers in the air chatting tickle finger…I’m going to tickle you right here…tickle you right there….each time tickling you some place new with one finger. To surprise you I added what whould be your favorite part of the game. When you least expected it I would quickly say in my sing song voice, “I will tickle you everywhere”. I would use all of my fingers to do just that. We played tickle finger for years and I still play it with your sisters and brother. Last summer you played it with both your sisters. I could hear you chanting the verses and the giggles that followed in your bedroom. A huge smile burst from my heart and happy tears fell from my eyes.

Your little brother is like you were. He must touch my hair or he can’t go to sleep. However, you are the only baby that twirled the hair wrapping it tight around your fingers locked against your head.

I miss you.


Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Meredith April 25, 2006, 2:02 pm

    I cannot imagine how hard it must be, to be physically separated from a child, how much you must always miss her. Will she be coming soon?

  • Pumpkin April 25, 2006, 2:16 pm

    I am having some issues with her father not following the shared parenting agreement that was signed before I moved to France. I don’t trust him. Each time before she comes I hold my breath that he will actually send her. I think the only reason he does is that he knows she would want to live with me here in France if he didn’t (even if she doesn’t speak French). He has done some pretty nasty things to me since he and I were divorced and treats my and my childrens relationship with her as second to his and his families. When she lived with me I always made sure she felt connected to him and his family. My family even changed our traditions at Christmas so she could go to his families celebrations on Christmas Eve and we had ours on Christmas. This past Christmas he kept her because he wanted to spend Christmas with her…he sent her to me only the day after Christmas Eve. He has her all the other important holidays but he really just doesn’t care about anything but himself. He is not a good man. I thought that he had changed and trusted him when I moved here but now I understand that he hasn’t changed. It is power game.

  • Alison April 25, 2006, 2:27 pm

    I feel for you.

  • kim April 26, 2006, 2:40 am

    OMG, I can relate!

    I just don’t get it, it makes no sense to me, because, it’s something I would never do!

    I’m sorry that you must go through things like this. I’m sorry so many of us do, if they only thought for a second, what would be the BEST thing for their child, instead of what would give them one up on you, life would be ok! :(

  • Pumpkin April 26, 2006, 8:15 am

    From what I have been told there are alot of people out there dealing with ex’s like this and it is really sad because of the kids.

  • AUDRAMAL April 28, 2006, 1:49 am


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