Each day I think will be easier but it isn’t.
My life is such a whirlwind of job searching, kids, a sick cat, a husband and all the daily duties that get in the way of any personal creating or reflection that I had always brought to this blog before.
I have spent the last two days doing laundry that I usually do in one day because one of the washing machines in the apartment laundry room broke. It broke last Monday on my last load of clothes. For no reason it just lost all power and that was that. A week later it was still broke (insert unhappy face here) and I only had one machine to do about twelve loads of laundry. I had to wash all the bed linens as well as a weeks worth of clothes from five people! Thankfully, I had both of the two neighbors that don’t wash often and have Tuesday as their wash day tell me that I could have their hours. So, that gave me the whole day Tuesday on top of my Monday to get it all done. I finished with back to back machines (both Monday and Tuesday) on Tuesday after 2 p.m.
It was no fun.
I am tired.
Tired of living in this apartment building for a gazillion little reasons and more than a few big ones.
I have been depressed because when we first moved here there were jobs to be found but no daycare for the kids. Now our village has built a new daycare but there are no jobs to be found. The companies in the Jura are not hiring. In fact, companies have done the opposite and let a percentage of their workers go due to the crisis.
Sometimes I just feel like throwing in the towel.
No matter how hard I work there is always a wall.
I am so tired of climbing walls.
I simply want to work and live in a nicer apartment. I am sick of lying to myself that it will only be six more months until we can move. It is now two and a half years after I first started telling myself that lie in order to get myself through until the next six months.
I want to be able to buy my kids new winter coats, gloves, boots and whatever else they may need without pinching pennies (so to speak).
Is that so much to ask for?
Don’t get me wrong. I am still happy and love my life. I only want to WORK.
I NEED to work for so many reasons both personal and financial that I couldn’t list them all here.
I really, really, really hope that the job market in Switzerland takes a turn for the better at the beginning of 2010 as the financial experts have stated. Now, that would make 2010 MY YEAR. I am ready to rebuild my life in Switzerland and I so need 2010 to be the year that it all starts.
Even sooner would be better.
I know that I am not alone in this big mess. I know that this crisis has touched so many of you. My own family back in the States has been hit hard. I shouldn’t whine. I have so much to be thankful for.
I have so much more than many others.
I know and appreciate that while at the same time I can’t help but complain.
I want and NEED to WORK.
Sorry for the whinny post. I had to get it out even if it didn’t make me feel better.
Feel free to tell me that I am a big baby in comments. I can take it.
Other whiners are welcome to add their own whinny stories in comments. :)